F is for Franchises and Floating

Now I'm not really sure if this is mostly just in Kamloops, but there seems to be an unnaturally large amount of franchise restaurants in Canada. Franchise restaurants are in no way limited to fast food outlets such as Maccas or KFC, there are some nice restaurants included as well.

In Kamloops (a town of 100,000) we have, the Keg, Rick's Grill, Earl's, Milestones, Whitespot, Original Joe's, Boston Pizza, Shark Club, Moxie's, Brown's Social House, Cora's, Mike's Steakhouse Casual, and Kelly O'Bryan's. There are also many associated with hotels and I'm sure I'm not covering them all.

While I find it frustrating because it means there is less room for variety, there are some benefits to having common restaurants. It means you're able to go anywhere in Canada and eat out at a restaurant that you know is going to be the same. For families it's handy.

Floating is now one of my absolute favourite things to do. I've never done the Australian pilgrimage to Laos for the float there, and unfortunately I think I'm a little old for that one now. I've settled with doing it in a first world country, where the chances of being poisoned by whiskey are low, but being hit by a boat is slightly higher.

E is for "Eh!?"

You'll notice "eh" is larger font than "freedom"

Ahhhhh, Canadian slang. This phrase is both surprisingly popular and not. All at once. Confused? I was too, until I realised it's the Australian version of "but", so it's popular in some areas but not others. Where we are in southern BC it's not all that common, but you'll still hear it enough. The problem is, it's kinda catchy and really easy to slip into saying it. I think I probably did a bit before moving here, so now I have to consciously avoid it or hear the dreaded "ohhh do I detect a bit of Canadian" when I talk to people from home.

I don't really understand the spelling to be honest, I see it it more of a "meh" sound, but we all know how they pronounce "out" so I'll leave it ;)

I do like it how Canadians embrace the phrase. Around Canada Day (and really all through the year) there is a lot of merchandise you can buy with that phrase on it. I love that they own it!

The scary part comes when you have an Australian living in Canada and you get classics such as "it's good but, eh?". Lost!

D is for Dangerous

Everyone is so convinced that Australia is a death trap. You've heard it before, "every living creature there wants to kill you". This is true to an extent. However, I am completely convinced that at least in Australia you can generally avoid such terrifying creatures if you wish.

In Canada near death experiences are at every turn. Whether you're crossing the road, camping, hiking, driving, doing snow sports, or crossing frozen lakes it's a matter of life and death half the time.

Deathly Weather

We've worked out Kamloops has a relatively mild winter, this can't be said for the rest of Canada however. Think you can survive outside for long when it's -30 degC? Unlikely! I hope you like frostbite, frozen lungs and hypothermia because that's what will happen. If the cold isn't enough, feel free to add some freezing rain or fog, wind chill or a blizzard. Check it out all the ways the weather wants to kill you at CBC, love!

Apparently avalanches are a thing here as well. This weekend there is an "Extreme Risk" or something because of the pineapple express (I'm just as confused as you are). The highways have to get closed every so often for avalanche control. Crazy!

Terrifying Creatures

How may you die by an animal in Canada? Let me count the ways.

• Brown and Grizzly Bears
• Wolverine
• Cougars
• Orca
• Rattle Snake
• Elk
• Polar Bear
• Moose
• Recluse Spider

I can't really complain about snakes and spiders in Canada, Australia is obviously worse. However, I maintain I would much rather be bitten by a Brown Snake than a Rattle. I figure while the venom may be much more toxic, the fact that browns are Elapidaes and often do dummy bites totally works in my favour. I can control my lymphatic system much easier than my heart!

Elk are mean and will attack if you're not careful, Moose are generally just dangerous road blocks though I have heard stories of them going after you if you bug them too much.

The amount of camping and hiking stories that have given me chills, is a zillion times higher than the number of people I know who have been involved in a shark attack. This may be due to the fact that you usually don't get a lot of warning with shark attacks, or maybe there are just a lot more carnivores wandering the bush in Canada!

Lethal Driving

Since winter is on the way out, it seems like driving in the snow and ice was just a bad dream. Sadly I know this isn't the case, and really it's the most dangerous part of Canada. The roads and driving conditions are only made worse by the Canadian drivers. This isn't a grumpy expat comment, Canadians have told me on multiple occasions that Canadians suck at driving. I've never corrected them. I mean, would you correct a Victorian when they said people in Victoria couldn't drive?

Living on the edge everyday. It makes Canada such an exciting place to live!

C is for Cars and Clamato Juice

There is no way you can choose just one of these when in Canada, so here goes.

Cars
I haven't heard of any city in Canada that is known for it's public transport. Here, cars rule. The bigger the better, you can't be a real man and not drive a truck. Obviously. Cars seem to be a status symbol here, so much more so than Australia. At home, old shit boxes are cool. Almost.

Unfortunately, not all Canadians are good drivers. This is coming from the self admitted worst driver ever, but people can be pretty shit. So many people drive huge utes, they drive as if they are the only people on the road. Also, parking them is obviously a bit of a joke. We started collecting photos of people who suck at parking, but it got old when we realised we could get multiple photos a week.

Winter has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works, with snow and ice causing all sorts of problems. I think I now understand why car insurance is so expensive here (over $2000 per year, for expats anyway). The other morning there were 4 accidents before 8am.

Try parking this bad boy between the lines

Clamato Juice
Picture the most delicious Bloody Mary you have ever had. Times it by maybe 2 (I was going to say a zillion, but that would just be too delicious) and that is a Caesar. Like a Bloody Mary except made with Clamato Juice.

The ingredients in Clamato Juice? Well I always thought it was just tomato juice and clam juice. Then I took a photo for the blog, but I wish I hadn't. Not really the most healthy of things.... how is it possible for tomato juice to have no vitamin C? Don't worry, MSG wasn't forgotten.

Dried clam broth, mmmmmmm, but it doesn't taste like clam really. It just kinda tastes like slightly sweeter tomato juice. Delicious.

I blame you curious people in Aus for making me read the ingredients. I now have knowledge regret.

B is for Bacon

What do you think of when you hear Canada? For me it's maple syrup, snow and bacon. I don't really know why I have this image. I think it's because there's something called Canadian Bacon.

I've never actually seen Canadian Bacon at the store, in fact the best bacon I've found is something at the butcher called 'Aryshire Bacon'. Who know's what that means, but it's good. Canadian Bacon is supposed to be similar to thick cut bacon, it sounds delicious and I wish I could remember to look/find it.

We tried buying bacon from the supermarket, but similar to Australia it's rubbish. I've been told that bacon from the butcher is different because it contains more meat, rather than just buying strips of pig fat (which I LOVE, but the meat at least gives the illusion you're eating protein).

Yum yum bacon cocktail

Since I've been in Canada I've had bacon in some fancy ways;

• Pancakes, bacon and maple syrup - I didn't like it. However, I'm willing to give it another go at a better restaurant.
• A Bacon Caesar (Clamato Bloody Mary) - This was delicious, more cocktails should have bacon
• Caramel Bacon Popcorn - I didn't think I'd like it, but was impressed!
• Bacon wrapped scallops - This isn't too random, and is obviously amazing
• Bacon wrapped chestnuts - For some reason chestnuts aren't really that common in Australia. Lets just say they taste good wrapped in bacon.

A is for America vs Canada Rivalry

This relationship is like a little reminder of home. I think it's pretty similar to the rivalry between Australia and New Zealand, except guess what? I'M IN NEW ZEALAND!

I honestly think that in 90% of sports followings, New Zealand would be my second team. If they were playing against any country other than Australia I would go for them. The 10% of hatred comes about if they'd just beaten Australian and I was feeling particularly hard done by, or if them losing meant Australia was more likely to win. Also I think NZ is great, because people always say Tasmania is NZ's third island and everyone knows how awesome Tas is. I don't think NZ feels the same way.

Remember when the Rugby World Cup was on, and Australia was playing Ireland? There was all this talk about how much NZ hated us. Most likely it was an exaggeration by the media, but hey they don't go for us.

From what I've seen, Canada feels the same way about the US. While Americans do make fun of Canadians (HIMYM and South Park are hilarious examples) they also seem to be quite fond of them, and it's more of an "awww bless 'em" opinion. Not so much in Canada. They have the anger, the "ughhh stupid Americans", and the win or die attitude.

There was a segment after the CTV news a couple of weeks ago, where they interviewed a bunch of people in America about what they thought about the First Lady debate. There was obviously no First Lady debate, but there were people that had a bunch to say about it. "Hmmm yea, well I think Michelle was very confident, but Ann had some better ideas". Crap like that.

It was almost as funny as the Chaser going around with a "map of the world" and asking Americans who they should bomb next. They had messed up all the locations, I think Australia was labeled Iraq... you get the idea. Funny right?! The Chaser was a comedy show though, not the 5pm news!

So now I've got the inside scoop on what it's like to be on the hater side, I want to know if NZ makes fun of us in the same way? I kinda hope so.

An interesting side note, I was listening to Canada vs USA in cricket on the CBC the other day. Apparently cricket is one of the oldest sporting rivalries between Canada and the USA! Bring back cricket!!