Learning to Curl (and be Canadian)

I'm sure you've all heard of curling. Probably mocked it at some point in your life. Laughed at the guys sweeping the ice with a broom. Made a joke about how women should be good at it. Well laugh all you want, this game is freaking hard!

We joined the McArthur Island Curling Club's Learn to Curl program. It's an 8 week course where they teach you the basics of curling, and give you the the opportunity to join a league once you're done. We've been doing it for 5 weeks now, and I think to some extent we've improved. Those first few weeks I was in a whole lot of pain every Wednesday.

Let me set the scene, you have a shoe with a teflon coating on the bottom... and you have to slide on it on the ice. It's been going about as well as you would expect! The ice is actually covered with tiny little ice bumps that they apply with something that looks like a spot sprayer. The bumps help the stone move to the end of the ice, fast ice is "keen" ice.

Teflon and strategy

The basics are there are 4 people on a team, and everyone throws 2 rocks in a row (one team at a time). The captain "skip" throws last, and if you win the toss you get the choice to have the last throw "the hammer". Scoring is done the same as lawn bowls. You push out from the "hack" and the rock is thrown from something like a lunge position (hard), and you have to try and balance and slide on your teflon coated shoe with your back foot out behind you toes facing down. The slide is how the rock gets it's momentum, you're not supposed to push out the rock at all (but that is hard too).

Focus face, and they're "hurrying hard!"

The rock is thrown with a slight spin, either moving your hand from "10 O'Clock" to "12" or from "2" to "12". The Skip at the other end of the ice tells you where the want the rock, and which way they want you to curl it. For 3 weeks I think I needed bumpers, as I had huge issues getting the rock to stay inside our sheet of ice. The sweepers have to work out how fast the rock is going, and whether they need to sweep (to make it go further) or leave it in order for it to land where the skip is requesting. This is also really hard to gauge, and the majority of the rocks I'm sweeping for either run out the back or don't make it into play. The struggle is real!

We're cool!

I'm also not someone you want on your team. Not just because I'm a hazard, but I also get too much enjoyment from other people falling over. Twice I've actually said "YES". Out loud. Sorry team!

Do you ski or snowboard?

We experienced our first attitude on the lift last weekend. Old skiers from AUSTRALIA! I was dirty, they're not even from here! I watched Mean Girls yesterday, best. This is how it went down;

O'Hara: Sorry, I just need to lift my feet a bit. Snowboards are a bit annoying on chair lifts.
Old Aussie Bitch: Uuuggghhhhhh, you should have seen my face when I realised we had to share a lift with snooowwwwboarders
O'Hara: Umm sorry, it's just a bit awkward.
Old Aussie Bitch: You take up soooo much room
Old Aussie Arsehole: THAT is why you're the most hated people on the mountain!

Maybe I should have offered them some Cherry Ripe? Or not sat down so much!

I never grew up with any preference for either. Generally the only people who grow up skiing in Australia are super rich. It makes sense since we don't exactly have a lot of mountains, and we also have the most expensive lift tickets in the world (in 2008 we did at least). I don't like the Winter Olympics for the same reason I don't like professional equestrian. If there is a direct correlation between ability and income, I'm not interested (yes I'm jealous, and yes you don't have to be rich to be good at skiing in Canada).

O'Hara and I decided to snowboard because 3 out of 4 siblings in his family have had at least one knee reconstruction. Dr. Google says snowboarding is easier on your knees because your feet are strapped facing one way. Where as with skiing, they're twisting all over the shop.

My boss has just started giving me attitude about snowboarding. It didn't come out of nowhere, I think within the first week he mentioned he hated snowboarders! As he's Australian and only started skiing 3 years ago, I can't take him too seriously. Apparently he doesn't like how they always sit down (jealous he can't), they are always high (not limited to snowboarders) and they have attitude (teenage boys? They're all jerks).

I think everyone's enemy on the mountain should be ski school/kid racers. Those guys always seem to be there when I stack it. Then zoom past and cover my path. O'Hara had a close call last week, apparently he rode over one of their skis. They have really, really short skis!

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

What is your winter sport? Why?

BTW who could hate these snowboarding fools?

And if you don't want to watch the whole thing, a highlight GIF!

Our First Ice Fishing Adventure

O'Hara and I were so keen to try this out, ever since we came to Canada and found out it's actually something that people do. My favourite thing to do is tell people I want to catch a fish so big it can't fit through my ice hole..... Unfortunately our first attempt went very similar to every single of O'Hara's other fishing attempts. Epic fail. Not even a nibble.

So, ice fishing is basically exactly what you'd expect. Drill a hole in the ice, sit and wait until you catch a fish. The fun part (aside from fishing if you get something) is the campfire, talking rubbish, whiskey and beer. Standard.

Watching the camera in the snow. Dedication

I love roasted marshmallows!!

It's also a pretty technical experience, if you go with Luke anyway there's no drop a line and wait. That would be silly. It's all about having an underwater camera, so you can see if there is fish there in the first place. How did we not catch anything even with a camera? O'Hara is the most unlucky fishing charm.

We also had a little mini hut thing, that you can sit in with a heater and fish for hours. When we went it wasn't overly cold and we had a fire so didn't really use it. I can imagine if it was much colder or there was more snow, it would be pretty important.

O'Hara trying to stay warm and some idiots on the underwater camera

We've got friends visiting in a month, so we're hiring a cabin by the lake for a weekend. Surely over 2 days we'll have to get something. I'm wondering if we don't take any food, there would be more incentive to catch something?

Who is the biggest sports fan?

This is the second time in a row we've been overseas during the summer Olympics. In 2008 we were in London (bad timing huh?) and got to experience first hand the England vs Australia rivalry. This was also the first time GB competed as one "country" (still sceptical) and the first time they beat us in the medal count in who knows how long.

Needless to say it was painful.

The thing I could appreciate though, was fire that goes down between the two countries and their fans. It's brilliant.

Now, I am overly competitive and look for a competition in nearly everything. To a point where I feel it's one of my bad traits, but I've yet to find that same fire in Canada. It's making me sad. I have two friends from Canada who've made the trip to London and are at a few events, they are my heroes. The most I've got from anyone else was "I just hate the f*#$ing Yanks".

On the other hand my boss and myself have been hunched, screaming over my phone screen at work and crying a little every time we got silver. So that's been fun!

My life during the 2012 Olympics

Canadians are super sports fans don't get me wrong. Hockey fans are almost manic and I've heard the winter Olympics are wild. But they don't seem to have the same "if it's a good game/race it's good viewing" attitude that Australia does so well.

I have a theory that Canadians have a deep hatred of losing to America and therefore the Olympics are a brutal display for them.

Maybe it's that they don't get how the Olympics works CTV Overall Medals (they think they're coming 11th -but this works in Australia's favour so shouldn't complain).

It's pretty hard to see, but the total medals are tallied rather than gold being worth more...

Or maybe it's just that their love of sports stems from the winter months and spending days stuck in your house. In summer everyone in Canada is too busy camping/boating/at the lake to get into sports. Australia has cricket, therefore sitting inside drinking beer on a 30+ day is acceptable...

If anyone has the secret I'd love to know. Also tips for getting Canadians riled up about the Olympics?? Please! I've only got a week left!